When Little Man left us in May, we were heartbroken. We loved him like our own, and it was hard to have the house empty again. I will never say we got "too attached." There is no such thing in foster care. In order for that child to feel safe and grow developmentally, you have to get "too attached." We are not superhumans with the ability to not "get too attached." We did our jobs right. We loved him like our own, and he is growing and excelling. We even keep in touch with his current family.
After he left, we decided to take the summer off with Sterling's busy travel schedule and for some upcoming trips we had planned with our families and ourselves. This was a great time of healing for us. We had always seen ourselves taking some time off to process and heal, and this summer was restorative in a lot of ways. There were days where I cried in Little Man's old room as I packed up his clothes to put away in storage, and there were days where Sterling and I were happy that we could go for an impromptu date night. We also felt God calling us to be open to older kiddos and siblings, so we prepared our 3rd bedroom for that possibility.
I don't think you are ever ready for the day you get back on the open list. Think about it as your due date. There are so many other things you wish you had done, but here the baby comes! We don't know when the call will come or what children they will call us about. But, in a matter of hours, you have kids at your house, and you're parents again.
We got back on the open list on August 27, knowing fully we would be placed that day. At 5:30, I received a call for two little girls. I knew the second I got the call that I wanted them. I called Sterling, and we prayed that if this wasn't the placement for us that God would close the door. I called our agency back and said that we would take them. After hours of waiting to hear from CPS, we found out they were on their way to our house.
At around 8:45, Big Sis and Little Sis showed up at our house.
Through this process, God has continued to show me how faithful He is. I had a lot of fears about relearning new children their likes and dislikes, how to parent them, and their behaviors. I also was scared I wouldn't love them as much as I loved Little Man. I wasn't sure if I was ready to be hurt by someone possibly leaving again.
But, God has continued to be faithful. We love our days with these girls. They are VERY high energy so they can wear us out. But they also make us laugh and smile. They know how to bring the fun and have never met a stranger. We still miss Little Man for who he was to us, but we love these girls immensely too. We are trusting the Lord with the ending to this story. We know His plan is absolutely perfect.
Even though it was scary to open our home to the unknown again, God is still good. He called us to this foster care life, and He is faithful to us through it all.
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